Outsiders Village: Village Guidelines
Content updated: September 21, 2026 at 5:50 PM MDT
Why these guidelines exist
These guidelines are here to make mutual village life more possible. They are not a promise that conflict or harm will never happen, and they are not a corporate policy manual. They give us shared language for participation, autonomy, consent, conflict, shared responsibility, and protecting the village from domination.
Contents
• 2. We practice mutual care, not fixing
• 3. Respect individual autonomy
• 4. Protect privacy without promising secrecy
• 5. Make room; do not take over
• 6. Contribute in ways that fit
• 7. Economic support must remain optional
• 8. Roles and ownership are practical forms of power
• 9. Address conflict with curiosity and accountability
• 10. Protecting the village is part of care
• 11. Keep it human-sized and distributed
• 12. This is not professional or crisis care
• 13. How these guidelines change and are adapted
1. Come as yourself
You do not need to perform wellness, sociability, productivity, respectability, or a polished and socially acceptable version of yourself. Participation only requires respectful presence. No one owes proof of diagnosis, identity, marginalization, or outsider status.
2. We practice mutual care, not fixing
People may ask for listening, company, ideas, practical help, distraction, or other kinds of care. Ask what kind of response is wanted before giving advice. Do not diagnose or treat a fellow villager. Do not coach, rescue, or manage another adult unless they have clearly asked for that specific help.
Mutual care does not mean equal effort at every moment, unlimited access to anyone, or responsibility for meeting every need. Everyone may receive support and set limits.
3. Respect individual autonomy
Each villager owns their choices, time, body, relationships, labor, money, attention, creative work, and capacity. A request, group preference, vote, or committee decision does not automatically create an obligation for another adult to give their time or resources, take on work, or change what they are creating.
Feedback and requests are welcome. The person making a contribution should be willing to hear feedback, but hearing feedback does not require accepting it. A group or committee may make decisions about genuinely shared resources or responsibilities only within authority people have actually agreed to give it; it does not become anyone’s boss.
Ask before touching, sharing someone’s story, offering intense advice, taking photos, adding someone to another space, or turning a casual relationship into a larger commitment. Respect no, not now, I need space, and I’m leaving without debate, persuasion, punishment, or demands for an explanation. No one is guaranteed access to every person, conversation, gathering, or platform.
4. Protect privacy without promising secrecy
Do not repeat another person’s identifying story, disclose their participation, or share screenshots, recordings, photos, or contact information without permission. People may still talk about their own experiences and seek support. Because this is an informal village, no host or facilitator can guarantee legal or clinical confidentiality.
5. Make room; do not take over
Notice how much space you are taking. Invite rather than pressure. Do not appoint yourself as the voice of the group, use resources or relationships as leverage, demand special authority, or redirect the village around your personal agenda.
Influence, expertise, ownership, money, popularity, technical access, or a practical role may give someone real power. None of those things makes them the owner or boss of other villagers.
6. Contribute in ways that fit
Everyone is encouraged to contribute according to their interest, ability, capacity, and availability. That may include hosting, facilitating, welcoming newcomers, coordinating carpools, bringing food or activities, handling logistics, sharing a skill, building tools, offering creative work, or simply being reliably present. Small and quiet contributions are real contributions.
Contributing in one way does not create an obligation to contribute in every way. No one must host, facilitate, disclose, socialize, work, or spend money in order to earn belonging. Commitments should be voluntary and allowed to change when health, energy, interest, capacity, money, availability, or life changes.
7. Economic support must remain optional
Villagers may offer businesses, workshops, professional work, creative work, products, or other paid offerings. Buying from or hiring another villager must remain genuinely optional. No one should need to spend money, become a customer, or financially support someone else in order to belong. Sharing what you offer is welcome; pressure, repeated solicitation, or turning gatherings into sales funnels is not.
8. Roles and ownership are practical forms of power
A host makes a particular gathering possible by arranging the place, time, and basic logistics. A facilitator helps a conversation or activity function when facilitation is useful. People may also own, fund, or administer spaces, accounts, tools, platforms, equipment, or other resources used by the village.
These roles and forms of ownership can create real decision-making power, but they are not rank. They may include making final decisions about a resource someone owns, funds, or maintains; they do not create ownership of other people or of the Village itself. Hosts, facilitators, administrators, and resource owners remain villagers. They may receive support, set limits, say no, and step back.
The separate Use and Abuse of Power document describes these forms of power in more detail, including how they can be used well, misused, challenged, or left behind.
9. Address conflict with curiosity and accountability
Conflict does not automatically mean someone is bad or that the village has failed. When it is useful, name the specific behavior and impact, listen for understanding, own your part, and seek a workable repair. No one is required to confront another person alone; another villager may help.
Intent matters, but impact and patterns matter too. An apology is not the same as repair. Repair may include changed behavior, restored resources, new boundaries, time apart, or accepting that a relationship or participation cannot continue.
10. Protecting the village is part of care
Any villager may interrupt harmful conduct or help set an immediate boundary. A village may decline attendance, limit access, or remove someone when reasonably needed to protect people or the village’s mutual structure. This is not a declaration that someone is irredeemable; access to a particular village is not unconditional.
Harassment, coercion, retaliation, credible threats, repeated disregard for consent or boundaries, attempts to dominate or seize control, and patterns that make mutual participation impossible may lead to immediate or lasting removal.
When practical, use a buddy system: gatherings should include at least two people who are willing to help if conflict, harassment, coercion, or another difficult situation arises. They do not need special titles or authority. The purpose is simple: no one should be left alone to handle a confrontational or harmful situation.
11. Keep it human-sized and distributed
The wider Outsiders Village may consist of many small, self-managing villages and gatherings organized around identities, needs, interests, places, or activities. No local group must represent every Outsider or offer everything. Groups may form, merge, split, rebrand, pause, or end as participation and needs change.
Aiming for 6–8 people when possible helps keep many gatherings small enough for people to participate and know one another. Around 12 people is a useful upper limit for many gatherings, though different activities may need different limits.
When possible, favor simple structures that can be handed off, changed, ended, copied, or replaced instead of systems that require endless maintenance or trap people inside them.
12. This is not professional or crisis care
Outsiders Village is an informal, mutual village, not therapy, group counseling, case management, medical care, or a crisis-response service. Each person remains responsible for their own decisions and for seeking professional or emergency help when they choose it or believe it would be useful. The village may offer companionship and practical support without claiming expertise or responsibility it does not have.
13. How these guidelines change and are adapted
This is a living document. Anyone may suggest an edit. Unless a different arrangement has been explicitly agreed to, the shared version is managed—and for practical purposes owned—by the person responsible for storing, maintaining, and updating it. That person should be open to feedback and keep changes visible enough for people to understand how the document evolved, but feedback does not create shared ownership or a right to require changes. The owner may say no.
If a villager believes a change is important and the owner disagrees, treat that disagreement as a conflict to understand rather than a contest for control. Explain the concern, impact, and reasoning; make room for the owner to explain their perspective; and try to find a workable solution. If no mutually agreeable solution is found, the owner decides the form of the version they maintain.
Ownership of one maintained version does not mean ownership of the Village or of everyone else’s use of these ideas. These guidelines follow an open-source spirit. A villager may copy, adapt, reorganize, or replace them, clearly identify what has changed, and offer that version to others. They may also build a separate village around a version that fits their needs better. No one needs permission from a central authority to create an alternative.
These guidelines are a first usable framework, not a finished constitution. Their purpose is to help us live like villagers while leaving room to learn what that means together.